Men are a mesh, a universe tangled with many emotions and feelings. Anger, anguish, happiness, sorrow, joy, this, that, and many more pull this side and that side. They are not at rest, day in and day out, day and night, awake and asleep. Hence, misery and suffering.
Have you ever seen a bird or an animal suffering? Have you ever noticed that a tree or a flower is suffering? The answer is likely no. But why do only human beings seem to suffer? This unique burden of suffering is a universal experience, one that reaches a peak stage where people sometimes become insane. Remember, you are not alone in this.
I have once heard that a person approached a Zen master and asked, "What is suffering?" and "How can I get rid of suffering?" The Zen Master looked at him and said, "Who is suffering you?" "Did anyone come to you and cause suffering?" Then, a person said, "No," and understood what the Zen master said.
One day or another, everyone might have thought, why am I suffering, why should I suffer, and what is the reason? Let's try to understand what suffering is. How can we come out of suffering?
A. What is Suffering:
Suffering is an emotion felt from the heart. Only humans can have such a sensitive feeling, hence the misery and suffering that does not occur in other beings. Human Suffering may occur in physical, psychological, or social ways.
Physical suffering, for instance, could result from a sports injury or a chronic illness. Psychological suffering might stem from a traumatic event or ongoing mental health issues. Social suffering could manifest in the form of loneliness or discrimination. These are just a few examples of how suffering can manifest.
Psychological or mental suffering may be caused by heart-wounded situations when emotions get hurt or may be due to stress, anxiety, depression, or someone insults you. For instance, a person might experience psychological suffering when they are constantly stressed at work or when they are dealing with the emotional aftermath of a breakup. You get hurt or pass a negative comment, and you get hurt.
Social suffering may be due to a lack of relationships, whether within the family or outside, such as no relationships with friends, relatives, near and dear, etc. Other reasons may include facing financial problems, high stress at work, a lot of pressure to complete the project, etc. It may also be due to discrimination in society.
B. Does Suffering and Difficulty are the same:
Suffering is the emotional response to a difficult situation, while difficulty is a challenging circumstance. For example, losing a job is complex, and suffering is the emotional distress that follows. Understanding this distinction can help us better manage our emotional responses to challenging situations, giving us a clearer perspective on our experiences and how to navigate them.
The hurt of physical, mental, or social emotion causes suffering. For example, if a person is wounded, suffering may come due to pain, or pain may come because of a sensitive incident that happens to the person, or maybe due to a break in a relationship, etc.
Difficulties arise directly from the individual and stem from adverse situations like financial challenges, job issues, or personal problems. For example, they may struggle to earn money for daily needs, bread and butter, treatment, tuition fees, getting a good job, or other goals.
C. Suffering and Pain:
We can consider suffering and pain synonyms. Suffering and pain are interrelated. Both can happen to a person, whether physically, mentally, or socially. If a person is feeling physical pain, then it will lead to mental suffering, which in turn affects social relationships and vice versa. Hence, both pain and suffering act as one. By reducing physical pain, one can come out of suffering, or by lowering mental suffering, one can come out of pain.
Is pain necessary, and is suffering optional?
Yes, it is essential to understand the relationship between pain and suffering. Pain is a physical or emotional discomfort experienced depending on the situation. Physical pain is necessary in some cases. However, suffering is an emotional state the individual creates through any experience. This suffering is associated with mental stress, anxiety, sadness, etc. Understanding this distinction is like turning on a light in a dark room, which brings clarity and helps you navigate your emotions more effectively. Pain is a condition that leads to suffering. If adequately understood, the pain can be bare, and one can come out of suffering.
D. How to get rid of suffering:
Who wants to suffer, and who wishes to be suffered? Everyone desires to be liberated from suffering. Everyone wants to eliminate suffering, but who doesn't? But is it possible? In my experience, eradicating suffering is impossible unless one becomes enlightened. Then, who is an enlightened one? The enlightened one is the one who watches everything that comes face to face. If anger comes, he watches it as it is and recognises it as alright; it is anger. When sadness comes, he immediately notices it and says Yes, it is sadness. He is such a pool of awareness that whatever comes, he instantly notes it as it is. In that moment of understanding, all will disappear, including suffering.
But as an ordinary being like me, is that possible? There is nothing to worry about; there are practical methods and tips you can adopt to control and minimise suffering. These include Meditation, mindfulness, and love, etc.
Meditation: When we meditate, our mind becomes calm and rested. In that moment, we can see reality as it is, whatever the case. We can see the root cause of suffering, where it comes from, and where it originated. Nothing more is needed to do; the suffering will disappear with that understanding. This understanding, this mindfulness, is a powerful tool in your hands to alleviate suffering.
While meditating, we get mental peace, which reduces stress and anxiety. Hence, Meditation reduces suffering. Meditation boosts psychological and physical health. When you meditate with others in society collectively, it improves your social relations with others.
While meditating, you will be in the present moment, improving mindfulness. Eat mindfully while eating, walk mindfully, and talk mindfully while talking. Just practice it; I am sure you will notice a significant change in your whole being.
Mindfulness, in particular, is a powerful tool for alleviating suffering. By being fully present in the moment and accepting your feelings without judgment, you can gain a deeper understanding of your suffering and begin to let it go.
Sharing with others: To reduce suffering, share your issues and views with others intimate with you, such as family members, close friends, office or colony mates. Don't hesitate to do so. Remember, you are not alone in this journey. Some people care and are willing to listen.
Do good things: Doing good things, such as feeding the birds and animals or distributing sweets or small gifts, such as pens, pencils, playing toys, etc., to the children, can bring an unknown satisfaction to the heart and provide excellent contentment. There is a psychological attachment with the children's heart to heart; when they laugh, run, fight or play with you, they look so cute and loving, which causes our stress and blood pressure to control and gives relief.
Love others: Loving is a great tool for escaping suffering, even ultimately. To love others, you must love yourself; in that moment, half of the problem is solved. Love is an emotion that helps to reduce suffering. All suffering vanishes if someone puts a hand over the head with love. There is such magic in love. It may be your mother, father, husband, wife, girlfriend, or boyfriend—no matter who it is. Just one emotional touch has such a significant influence on beings. It is not only human beings; even if you put a hand on a bird or an animal, there will be a great response.
Be Motivated: Always try to be motivated by reading motivational books, articles, or journals or watching inspirational movies or channels, whatever is available. Don't miss the opportunity to be encouraged. I used to listen to spiritual audiobooks to forget everything for that time while listening.
Be contented: Always try to be contented. Whatever you have, feel because of God's grace. In search of ways to have more, discontentment will be raised, which causes dissatisfaction and, hence, suffering. Whatever is with me belongs to me, and whatever is not with me does not belong to me. I thank God, whatever I am, "I am".
Spiritually lacking: Try to involve yourself in spiritual programs. On a spiritual path, one seeks to go inward to find "who I am." In that search, an understanding will arise, and a way to eliminate suffering will be found.
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My life experience says that suffering, pain, and difficulties are inevitable. After all, we are human beings. Everyone must suffer like a river passing through narrow banks, struggling to pass through in some places and enjoying widening in others, taking along with sand, stone, dust, etc. No one is exempt from this unless one becomes a Buddha, enlightened one, awakened one, or whatever name you give. It's your wish, but not less than that. In this life's journey, one understands what suffering is and how to escape it, such that a river finds its path intelligently, can discover the terrains with a slope, and can flow efficiently without any hardship. There is much to learn if we look at nature; all our problems get solved because nature is the master and the mother. Mother gives birth and teaches how to live.
There are so many ways, paths, techniques, and methods available. One has to remember there are no shortcut ways to escape from suffering. However, one suffering has to understand and see it clearly with open eyes in the present moment without any expectation. It is bound to be sure they will find their way. All the best. Thank you for reading.